No More Writing Articles

I am so mad “The Mighty” keeps publishing this article with my name on it, I can only paste comments.

Replied to publisher –

No, I am not excited. I requested you take this down because of the numerous misrepresentations. Believe me… NO ONE MADE FUN OF ME IN SCHOOL! Parents, peers, and siblings need to know the importance of supporting the child with a disability. My friends would beat up anyone who made fun of me, so no one did.

Second, doctors did not tell me what aging would do to my body. They still don’t know, and are amazed I am still alive! Parents need to know NOT to listen to professionals. They know their child better than doctors.

Your article was NOT written by me. In fact, it goes against EVERYTHING I advocate against.

I will NOT be writing for you again.

Shelly Weiss, Ed.S.

Writing for Survival

I’m writing while I can, as much as I can. For several weeks, each day has brought turmoil, including a HUGE decrease in my Social Security Disability Income (SSDI) leading to facing homelessness AND not being able to afford my best friend and life mate, Jireh (my Service Dog), news that my mother (from whom I have spent half of my adult life estranged) was in serious condition in the hospital, lost a couple close friends, had a cousin die from drug overdose, I fell in front of an oncoming car (hurting myself and almost getting run over), and the list goes on. Having numerous debilitating medical issues (most of which are exacerbated by stress), I truly feel like I can have a heart attack at any moment. For the past two weeks, my health has been chronically declining.

When I received the notice about the cut in my income with June being the hardest month as they were taking out their overpayments in addition to my reduced monthly income, my strong faith cracked. I have supported myself for the past 30 years as I have no contact with relatives. I’m a fighter as I am equipped with God’s strength and wisdom within me. Having the gift of writing, I assured my close friends if I can pay June’s bills, I can find writing jobs to supplement my income starting in July.

After all, Harry Potter book series J.K. Rowling lived in extreme poverty, receiving food stamps, until her books were published. Living in poverty changes people as Rowling states, The very best thing her wealth has given her, she wrote on her website, is the absence of worry. “I have not forgotten what it feels like to worry whether you’ll have enough money to pay the bills. Not to have to think about that anymore is the biggest luxury in the world.”

According to the website, http://www.businessinsider.com,

Living in a cramped apartment with her daughter, jobless and penniless, Rowling fell into a deep depression and admits she even considered suicide. She was forced to rely on state benefits and spent much of her time writing “Harry Potter” in cafés with Jessica sleeping in the pram next to her.

I’ve been there. I think I still am. Anxiety, depression, PTSD, and Crohn’s have all held me hostage in the bathroom the past month with concerns about bills, losing friends who think I am a loser freeloader. I feel like a burden most of the time. If I hadn’t had my personal relationship with Jesus, I would either be on drugs, homeless or dead. Each day that I am puking my guts out simultaneously while losing my bowels day after day, all I can think about is I am losing time not writing. July will be here soon. So, today, I wanted to write about having peace beyond understanding because I trust God.

Instead, I am rolled up in a ball on the floor writing on my tablet so I can write how even Christians have mental health issues. And they cannot just be “prayed away” although prayer certainly changes things. In between my night terrors about being homeless and having to live on the street, I am writing AS MUCH AS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE my book about being real. About following your convictions so you can look in the mirror, which is why I told an editor last night to take my article down because they changed my wording and it did not reflect my ultimate goal of giving all glory to God. (The byline included my personal blog where I could eventually generate income if I get enough readers.)

I’m not giving up I will write my books every day, all day, getting published and out of poverty. My God has never failed me, and never will. In fact, this post will be another chapter in my book, The Christian Bohemian, Not Your Conventional Christian.

He Provides

Since I have had to go on Disability, I have dreaded paydays. My bills overshadow the income, even on my minalmist lifestyle. Naturally, I feel alone, helpless, and like a failure being this limited at my age. Knowing the smallest emergency can impede my ability to provide for myself frightens me into a severe panic attack, as well as a Crohn’s Disease flare up.

For example, I had a bad fall on a cement parking lot two weeks ago. Within days, my hand became swollen and infectious. A few of my friends gave me the same advice- go to the doctor . I was too prideful to confess that wasn’t an option since I had no money for the copayment, nevermind money for an antibiotic. Plus, I had a feeling I would need X-rays, leading to a radiology bill.

I stopped going out around friends and when asked, proclaimed my hand was much better. Someone asked if I had a fever when I made a comment about MRSA. Embarrassed, I admitted I did not own a thermometer. Basically, I live like a squatter. There was a time when I had more than the minimal survival tools and money in the bank. But that was before my mental breakdown in 2008 when I donated everything I owned to charity and lived out of my car for periods of time.

Since I was making decisions from survival mode, my estranged relatives (who never believed in psychology, which I found out upon declaring my major in college was Psychology), likely had images of me being carried away in a straight jacket by men in white coats, kept their distance more than ever. My church and friends pretty much followed along, leaving me all alone… but Jesus stayed. In fact, He pulled me closer. This was time He made Himself clearly known to me.

I had nothing… I had no one… except I had Jesus… and with Him came an unspeakable peace and comfort surpassing all understanding. Since then, I have had all I TRULY needed.

The past ten years haven’t been the easiest, but they have been the best as I have been forced to depend on Jesus, my Savior. He has never abandoned me, even when I try to run away from Him. I have gone without food, medical care, heat, and family.

It has all been worth it to me. If I hadn’t lost everything, I would have missed out on this priceless relationship with Christ. I have learned to trust Him completely. The more I walk with Him, the more He blesses me.

So today when I sat down to figure out which bill I would have to put off, somehow, my SSDI covered all of my basic needs. Wow! Unbelievable. Well, unbelievable to non-believers, but for me… I looked up and imagined Jesus smiling at me. After all, He is Jehovah Jireh … My Provider.

Needing Help ASAP Getting Service Dog Puppy

Okay, guys. The breeder sold all her Golden puppies and can’t afford to donate one to me. I need a puppy asap to start training while Jireh is young enough. Without a service dog, I will end up in a nursing home and I REFUSE TO GO TO A NURSING HOME. PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME GET A 8 -10 WEEK OLD PUPPY. It will be covered medically after 6 months of age, so I need money for it’s initial vaccinations and getting it fixed. Average Golden puppies costs $1,800 when AKC certified with proper eye, hips, etc. examinations, so if I get one donated, I won’t need $2,300. I have someone who sent me a scholarship form to try paying for the puppy. URGENT – PLEASE HELP!
https://m.gofund.me/help-disabled-lady-stay-independent