Just like that, Crohn’s and depression is back. I realize growing hurts. Growing sucks. Growing is good, except for the goodbyes. And we must say goodbye to grow, and make room for new friends. No one is at fault. We may walk together our entire lives, and suddenly, there’s a fork in the road. Do you stay loyal to the person who has been by your side, who knows the girl you have been and treats you accordingly? Or do you stay loyal to yourself, making friends who treat you as the person you are growing to be?
I have to stay loyal to me. I will never forget the memories of the past. I also will not force a friendship on those who censor their traumatic experiences from me for fear they will trigger me. And ESPECIALLY when they lie and tell me they are fine, no, GOOD, after a terrible loss has happened. To me, THAT IS THE DEFINITION OF A BURDEN WHEN YOU HAVE TO MASK YOUR FEELINGS.
I will not be a burden. I’m taking the road less traveled, the road of authenticity.